Practical Steps to End Workplace Bullying
by Jodi Eisenstadt, JD, SPHR, President of Eisen Alliance
Have you been receiving complaints about an employee’s abrasive conduct? When the employee is new or a low performer, it is easy to give feedback, and terminate, if necessary. The challenge surfaces when the employee with bad behavior is viewed as a high performer. Here are some steps to support managing high performers with bad behavior.
What can HR and management do?
• Draft policies which prohibit abrasive and disrespectful conduct regardless of whether it is illegal.
• Train and model living your code.
• Ensure your performance reviews assess behavior towards managers, co-workers, and direct reports.
• Educate leadership about the downside of a double behavioral standard – one for high performers and another for the rest of the organization.
• Calculate the real cost of allowing bad behavior to persist.
• Engage support for high performing employees who need to change their conduct.
What can targets of bullying conduct do?
• State your boundary. “I see what you’re doing and it’s not ok.”
• Slow down and show as little reaction as possible to negative behavior.
• Transfer or attempt to work from another location. Decades ago, social scientists confirmed that the adage “out of sight, out of mind” is true. People tend to communicate most with people nearby.
• Repeat your boundary and threaten to escalate. Prepare your resume and be ready to leave if necessary.
• If you decide to escalate, acknowledge the person’s positive contributions. Then, describe in detail how the behavior interferes with both your work and the work of others who have experienced similar conduct. You may want to suggest that HR contact the Boss Whispering Institute for support.
• Take care of your emotional and physical health. No one deserves to be harmed by rude, intimidating, or abusive conduct.
What can be done to help abrasive leaders change?
• Leadership must set limits with real consequences for noncompliance with behavioral norms.
• Engage a coach to support change. Choose someone who has a strong positive track record working with people with abrasive conduct. You can find resources and referrals for specialized coaching at the Boss Whispering Institute (www.bosswhispering.com).
• Ensure that the client asks his or her direct reports and peers to meet with the coach for a confidential interview to support his or her leadership development. This stage gives the leader and coach feedback regarding negative perceptions of conduct which must be addressed and sets the foundation for people to see the leader change.
• Coach reviews the feedback and teaches client TAD dynamic (Threat, Anxiety, Defense)™ or other effective emotional intelligence tool to help client understand behavior of self and others.
• Acknowledge positive change and hold employee accountable for behavior.
The Boss Whispering program is short term coaching which typically concludes in 8-10 sessions. While coaching rates vary, the cost is minimal compared to the costs of continually having to rehire or “clean-up” after another good employee leaves because of the abrasive leader’s conduct.
