NO FEAR NEGOTIATION: Remains an Opportunity For WOMEN

Today, women represent 50.6% of the US population. This book is about giving half of our population the tools to achieve economic equality. While women make up half of the population, women still earn $.80 cents on a male dollar. While earnings have grown since 1960 when it was $.61, there is still a deficit gap and it should be equal. At the current rate of improvement, it will take until 2119 for women to close the gender pay gap. And this past year, the pandemic just removed millions of women from the participating talent pool.

It is bad business, but it persists. As Diversity is discussed and much is before us, woman of all colors and backgrounds have opportunity yet.

Women face a pervasive and systemic imbalance in American business in terms of compensation and presence at executive levels. But not in value to the economy. Last year, I co-wrote a book with a peer CEO in Chicago. We both own and lead small businesses in suburban Chicago. While we are clear leaders, our businesses operate everyday by great teams, mostly comprised of women. Neither of us planned it that way, it just developed over time that the people who are willing to sacrifice, grind, slug it out, make it work, have mostly happened to be courageous, competent and capable women. We believe the American economy runs on the backs of women, with a strong assist to intelligence, heart, and soul. Especially in these unprecedented shifts of
balance amidst Covid-19.

Our book was written with the #MeToo movement as a backdrop. Today’s climate, has us focused on one demographic in the American tapestry but truth be told every American is unique and their story matters. While we are not here to discuss or cure abuse, we are aware that our country can finally talk about it and hold abusers accountable. There is an audible drum beat of progress taking place and yes, this is true for women.

Regardless, imbalance remains and is fueled by a troubling bias called The Maternal Wall. It is a form of discrimination that is both blatant and subtle in which pregnancy can immediately reduce a woman’s earning and opportunity potential. Female business owners are offered smaller loans for shorter terms at higher rates than men. Only 2 percent of venture capital dollars went to women in 2017 and often angel investors will bet any business with a mother at the helm will likely not grow as fast if not fail.

Change is hard. Inertia is a powerful and persistent force for maintaining status quo. Mark Twain said it well, “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme…” It is time to start a new narrative where women achieve equal pay for equal work, are rewarded based on true merit and do not have to accept anything less than full equality. It is time to intervene.

We decided to come together on a project that became our book No Fear Negotiation for Women. Why? It is simple. Negotiation should be practical and while men have this tool handed to them in their youth, women are raised to be likeable. Women deserve the tool of negotiation because the first thing we must overcome is our mindset. Negotiation is not an event, it is in fact, your mindset. Easier said than done. John Tinghitella, my friend and co-author always shares that he believes simplicity is the key. There is no need to over complicate the facts. We have all attended some richly contented training in our careers. Inspiring, thought-provoking stuff. Then we come home, and normal life takes over. We put the binder on the shelf with good intentions…but the emails and calls and meetings and deadlines invade our psyche. We don’t make permanent change.

The key is, 90% of any negotiation is the preparation. Note preparation happens before the negotiation and thus it requires a process. In my experience, the process we go through as women is far more emotional. Honestly, it can be far more about our sentiments for others than for our very own self-preservation. Take the time to consider what would occur had you stood with conviction every time you negotiated. All those war stories of used car salesman lying through their teeth. Thoughts of negotiations gone bad. The word negotiation itself conjures up potential loss, failure, even embarrassment. So, most of us avoid it altogether. 70% in fact. Male and female alike, but it is most acute with women, who often have a high avoidance for conflict. Ironically, the tables are turning, and more and more women are finding their voice. Meanwhile, men are being put on the defense and for what? In some cases, it is just for being men. Like the past, women were typecast and for what? Being women. Instead of either gender walking on eggshells, which stops progress, we must agree the time is now. In fact, the only option is now. We must all know that we can work for a win-win outcome. Knowing your value and what results you deliver is an important first step to come to the meeting prepared. No matter how technologically engaged we become, human relationships drive our lives. Regardless of customer type, we as relationship managers have the burden of achievement on our shoulders. We must communicate what is in our hearts and minds, so it is received in their hearts and minds. Humility reminds us to realize that we must do that. Failure is on us. While we don’t subscribe to the old saying that the “customers are always right” (they’re not), it doesn’t matter. It’s not the other person or the audience’s fault if we fail. This is the outcome of emotional intelligence. Relationship management is only facilitated by our own abilities for social awareness paired with self-awareness and then adapted through self-management thus realizing how to achieve solid relationships. I learned this through my own experiences, and it took longer than I like to admit to realize I had been coming to the business table as a friend who wanted to help rather than a partner and business person. When I realized the difference, I began to change my results and like anything you practice, you get better at it. I invite woman everywhere to know you can be a friend, a daughter, a wife and even a mother. None of that should negate the fact that you can own and lead a business in America. Forget the .80 cents on the dollar and let’s work on the less than 3% in venture capital dollars that makes it to woman led enterprises. The time is now. Whenever John and I speak on NO FEAR NEGOTIATION FOR WOMEN, we aim to project a win- win partnership based on mutual respect, trust and results that only benefit us both. Negotiation is a process and our book meld the mind of a proof of man in business and a proof of a woman to provide a simple, repeatable practical and proven tool to help women achieve workplace equality. Sometimes you just need your to do list, right? You guessed it; the tool is Negotiation. We plan to intervene one negotiation at a time and no longer just in our worlds but through you in yours~